This Small Mindset Change Can Completely Transform Your Life

According to Bobby Hoffman, Ph.D.

Alan Trapulionis



Personal change is a difficult subject. We all want to be more productive, to read more, to exercise regularly, to learn new things and to say ‘yes’ to more nights out. However, as we all very well know, it’s just as easy to quit your new habit as it is to commit to one.

The actual science behind forming new habits is surprisingly simple, even if unpleasant. Bobby Hoffman, Ph.D., studies people’s motivation to change and live better lives.

“One scientific fact we know for sure is that when we want to change our personalities, we have both the capacity and the ability (Hudson & Fraley, 2015).” Bobby Hoffman

He outlines 4 crucial components of reliable, lasting change:

1. Acknowledge your deficiencies

This is the ugly part. To really want to change, you have to point out which parts of yourself you dislike. This can be an excruciating exercise for someone with low self esteem, but it’s the only way. No change can occur if you’re semi-satisfied with what you have right now.

The trick is to be specific and to take responsibility. I know many people who go around laughing about their shortcomings as if they’re nothing serious. I know people who are overweight or are stuck in terrible relationships and who go about crying as if there’s nothing they can do to fix the situation.

No, that doesn’t work. To foster change from the inside, you first of all have to acknowledge what exactly you dislike about yourself (e.g. my weight) and then connect it to a specific action of yours that caused the situation (e.g. I can’t make myself go to the gym.)

In my life, if I feel like something’s wrong, here’s what I do:

  1. I allocate some time to reflect and think
  2. I lay on the couch for 30–40 minutes, idle (no phone, food or drinks)
  3. I close my eyes and try to let my mind flow
  4. Eventually, I always arrive at some specific conclusion (I don’t read because I