Why You Shouldn’t Try to Kill Your Husband

Alan Trapulionis
6 min readDec 23, 2022
Dalia Dippolito, after the fact. Image via IMAGO / ZUMA Wire (Web/Commercial License)

The things people do.

It all began with a guy named Michael Dippolito.

Mike was feeling lonely one night — and so, like any reasonable person, he orders an escort. To his office, that is. He’s been married for 7 years.

A woman arrives shortly. Cute, tiny, assertive — just his type. They bond. Given that Mike was on parole for an investment scam, it’s hardly a surprise.

Two weeks go by, and Mike breaks up with his wife. He’s found a better one. He buys a $20,000 engagement ring for the call girl, and she says yes. Now he’s on a honeymoon, busy altering his life plans for a newfound love. Her name is Dalia.

Six months later, they’re married. Mike is on cloud nine. He thinks he’s won the lottery.

The lottery, however, was yet to be played out. See, Dalia wasn’t just any girl. She had ambitions.

Unlike other girls in the neighborhood, Dalia didn’t want to get famous or renowned for inventing a vaccine. She wanted something more tangible — like Mike’s bank account. Mike was running some shady stuff from his office even on parole, and sources say he had made up to $200,000 in 11 months.

He would’ve most likely spent that money on Dalia anyway. But she wasn’t going to wait.

She started slow. At first, she contacted an ex-boyfriend of hers. The guy calls Mike on the phone, posing as a lawyer. Somehow, he convinces Mike on a cold call that it’s a good idea to sign the house over to his wife. Dalia now owns the house.

But the cash is still firmly in Mike’s hands. That’s a problem.

Dalia has an idea. She plants a bag of cocaine in a cigarette pack in Mike’s glovebox, and informs the police. Her hope is that the police would start a larger investigation on Mike’s side business that would send him back to prison.

They go for dinner, and the police are waiting in the parking lot. They present Michael with a warrant, and find the drugs.

Ironically, the police believe Michael (due to the weird hiding place of the drugs) and start suspecting the wife (due to how emotionless she was during her husband’s arrest.)